Democrats Are Make Believe Furious Over Attack on Jill Biden’s Absurd Doctor Title [Satire]

Democrats continue to pretend to be outraged at a Wall Street Journal op-ed that said Jill Biden should not call herself doctor merely because she’s not a doctor.

Biden spokesman Phil Hokum declared, “I have never pretended to be this outraged in all my life. To say that Jill Biden should not be called a doctor just because she has a PhD in some non-existent science I can hardly name out loud without laughing is the lowest form of sexism and should be make-believe offensive to all privileged white women without anything better to worry about. I am so fake angry I can barely get the words out in a convincing tone of voice.”

Strange-tasting soda Doctor Pepper also protested, saying, “I want to register in the strongest possible terms just how offended I’m pretending to be. If an expert in a field that by all rights shouldn’t even exist can’t be called a doctor, then all I can say is I’m just a can of carbonated sugar water with a weirdly unidentifiable taste that’s really not as bad as you thought it was once you get used to it.”

Spiderman Supervillain Doctor Octopus also said he was pretending to be insulted by the op-ed.

In a CNN panel discussion with the usual bunch of brainless nudnicks, Doc Ock said, “For the Biden administration to succeed, we cannot have journalists saying true things like this. If people are going to start randomly stripping undeserved Doctor titles off our names, then I’ll just become Octopus. Do I look like an octopus to you? All right, I sort of look like an octopus, but I’m so much more than that when you really get to know me.”

Doctor Evil, Doc from the Seven Dwarves and Doctor Love — who’s got the potion and the emotion — also feel Jill Biden should keep her title even though they conceded she can’t be a very good doctor or Joe Biden wouldn’t look like he does.

More satire from Andrew Klavan: Democrats Order Holiday Shut Downs to Stop Dangerous Spread of Christianity

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