Trump Says Virus Task Force Will Evolve Into Modern Dance Troupe [Satire]

The following is satirical.

President Trump has changed his mind about disbanding the Chinese Flu Task Force and will instead have it evolve into a modern dance troupe or possibly a White House-based improv comedy club.

The president had said the Task Force would slowly shut down now that its work on the Chinese Flu is over, but journalists and other useless noodges objected, saying the Task Force had played an important role getting everything wrong and giving reporters a chance to ask useless gotcha questions, so it should continue throughout the summer, especially with our favorite TV shows in reruns.

Since there’s not much else that can be done about the Chinese Flu itself until the Jews come up with a cure, Trump says he’d like to see Doctors Anthony Fauci and Deborah Birx turn to other things.

The President said, “Perhaps they could put on a production of ‘Romeo and Juliet.’ It’s really one of my favorites of the Bard’s works because it hovers in that vexing shadowland between comedy and tragedy, raising fascinating and profound questions about the role of chance and coincidence not just in theater but in human affairs as well. And that’s not just me saying that, many respected people have said as much, and they tell me Shakespeare would have been amazed at the terrific job I’ve done as president.”

Journalists also want to see the task force continue, and so does CNN’s Jim “Look At Me I’m Jim” Acosta, who told his three-sided mirror, “The task force has done such a terrible job that we have to keep them going because they’re doing such a wonderful job. Without their briefings, I would just have to sit on the sofa in my underwear, screaming braindead and insulting non-questions at the television set while the dread understanding of how badly I’ve wasted my life slowly settled over me like a shroud.”

The Task Force has now been set to work studying what the Task Force should do now that there’s no reason for them to exist.

More satire from Andrew Klavan: Biden Judges Potential Running Mates On Talent, Poise And Swimsuit Competition

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